Fear overtakes

Because you feel like you cannot take one more day of this 9 to 5. There’s a fire in your heart that’s telling you to go away as far as you can. Telling you something needs to be done, for your sake, for the sake of people, for the sake of the planet, making you feel like your purpose is way bigger than the money in your bank account, the chair you’re sitting on, or any title you can get. And you convince yourself it’s all going to work out. Somehow, things always work out.

But then you’re there and it’s all finally happening and your bank account has no money. You feel overwhelmed by the change. And you’re all by yourself and you realize you have no idea if it really is going to work out. And you forget about everything you wanted first, and fear overtakes your brain and it gets pretty dark inside your head. And you want to call it quits. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking right, I’m not ready for this, I’m not going to make it. I don’t know that much about life yet. This was a mistake”.

But you have to remember. You have to remember what was like having that dream, you have to move your hands violently and clear the fog and look at what’s ahead on the road. And when you ask yourself “How did I ever thought this was going to work out?” Remember you told yourself it was YOU who was going to make it work. It was you who was willing to sacrifice time, money and friends, for it. And it won’t be easy, you gave up comfort and reassurance and a path everybody knows. You exchanged that for the unknown, the uncertainty. And if you were courageous enough to take that path by yourself, you’re courageous enough to cross it.  And if you make it past the anxiety attacks, the drugs cravings, the procrastination, depression and overall shitstorm from your own mind, what needs to be done is waiting for you. And you are completely capable of doing it. So do it.

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