I’m in the process of getting my resident permit for the Netherlands. It takes up to five weeks of waiting for them to decide whether I am dangerous or not for their country.
I am, in the meantime, trying to come up with new ways to make money. My situation is a little bit complicated because before knowing I had a partial scholarship, the numbers weren’t giving so I just assumed I would have to keep working for another year before leaving. After the scholarship, things changed. I made the choice to go with what I have and my budget is tight. Tight as my jeans after eating an entire Texas-size rack of baby back ribs. Funny I mention my favorite dish because, of course, I won’t be having it for a long, long time. Good bye pork-meat heaven. What food’s cheap in the Netherlands, anyway? Sometimes going from not-saving-a-penny to trying to save even the number of breaths I take feels like mom was right, and I should’ve thought twice before deciding to quit a very well-paid job.
I’m trying to get additional scholarships from Mexico but my Master program doesn’t fall into any scholarship category. Apparently, I’m the only person in the entire country who thinks studying philosophy in the 21st century is important. So nobody wants to fund my studies. Well, sorry folks, somebody’s gonna have to join me in the game. I will not rest until one of you accepts to help me.
Mom says “there are other priorities for the country right now”. And though I may not target my studies for productivity or profit around here, we do need to have some critical thinking going on in this place.
When I was fourteen, I wanted to study philosophy, write books and be a teacher. But I was told, “Anyone can be a teacher, you should study something that you like and then teach about it”. So then at fifteen, I wanted to study cinematography. That idea didn’t stick for long, I thought Industrial Design would be a more down-to-earth decision. Since I was a lot into programming and fixing stuff in my computer, I finally considered engineering at sixteen. So there I was on the day to enroll to university, at the engineering faculty, making a line. And I thought “I’m getting out of here, I should be on the visual arts faculty line”. I made a call to a not-very-bright-guy who was my best friend then, and asked him “what should I do?” He told me, “you’re already in the engineering line, just stay there”. And so I did that.
BUT THE POINT IS: I had no idea I was setting the path for the rest of my life, could someone please just give me a break?
And now after 8 years of successfully making my way through engineering school and engineering jobs, I’m quitting. I’m quitting my 9 to 5 and getting a master in Philosophy. I want to write books, and be a teacher. And I won’t resent the fact that nobody ever told me at fourteen “Hey kid, If that’s what you want to do, then do just that”. I won’t resent it because I have to start taking responsibility for the decisions I take in my life and face the outcome of all those choices. (Mr. Nobody, anyone?) I will, however, in time, let my fourteen-year-old kids know they can do just that thing that’s itching their curiosity.
And so the real purpose of this blog (though I’m a little bit ashamed to accept it) is for it to be my loyal companion on this venturous (stupid, rather) journey. Let my sad and scarce savings serve as my first step, and with a little help from the blessed Faculty of Behavioural, Management and Social Sciences from the University of Twente who believed in me enough to give me a partial scholarship, off I go. Here we are, ground zero, square one, starting line. Where to next?